(Still deciding on subtitle)
When Betsy or Jeff (her husband) open the door, the sound of a dog bark is sure to be heard first. Jeff and Betsy have to hold Maze (who is, as they describe him, ‘a cream puff’) back just to make sure he doesn’t kiss you to death. Upon entering their house, a person is sure to feel welcome in a home for visitors, with plenty of their beautiful, lifelike photography hanging on the walls. Their consultation and living room is made for comfort and business, just like their wardrobe of jeans, sweaters, and button-ups. The laid back artists offer food and drinks graciously with friendly smiles. This certainly won’t be the last time you see them smile. Most of their conversations with others are practically made up if smiles and laughter. It’s contagious, too!
-Are there any areas that are worsed oddly that I should consider re-writing?
-What details do you think are unneccisary/don't hold your interest?
-What are some ways I can incorporate Concerts Not Pancakes?
-Anything else
This is a very strong introduction, it's like every sentence flows evenly with each other and nothing get's too boring or out of place.
ReplyDeleteI would however change out some really direct person things like "there wardrobe of..." that sentence, at best, could be taken out but other than that everything is really solid.